Personality Type Three
Threes are also known as the
Administrator, Effective Person, King of the Hill, Marketer, Motivator, Performer, Star, Status Seeker, Succeeder, Winner
Overview
Values
self-development, achievement, recognition, success, physical appearance, good reputation, popularity
Main Motivation
To be valuable and desirable
Threes like to see themselves as outstanding and effective people. They want to feel worthwhile, accepted and desirable. They focus on being competent, productive and seek to be outstanding, hoping that they will be appreciated and admired for embodying the values of their community. Threes set aside their personal feelings because they get in the way of their efficient productivity and in presenting a favourable impression to others. Their emotional distance helps insulate them from underlying feelings of shame.
The attention that Threes seek is really an affirmation and validation of who they are. Threes want to feel worthwhile and valuable as people and need others to help them feel that way. Threes from different societies or families can look very different, because they are striving to attain different values and meet different expectations. However, all Threes share a drive to excel, and in so doing, to feel important.
Threes are extremely adaptable. Threes are acutely aware of the expectations and values of their family, their friends, and their community. They adapt their self-image to achieve those values and meet those expectations. Feedback from others helps them refine their image. As a result, Threes are like chameleons, always changing their presentation to be favourable to people. However, by constantly altering their identity, it is hard to know who they really are.
Average Levels
Level 4: Competitive Status Seeker
Plays the role of the Winner
Level 5: Image-Oriented Pragmatist
Manipulates others by adapting their image to meet the expectations and to appear to excel at things valued by others.
Level 6: Self-Promoting Narcissist
Undermines others by "proving" others are unworthy losers
Average Threes see themselves as the winner: they are focused on their accomplishments and their performance. They are pragmatic and efficient and actively pursue what they want. Threes have a strong drive to excel and to push themselves. Their emphasis on success carries with it a fear of failure. As a result, Threes compare themselves to others and compete with them openly.
Average Threes package and market themselves to be agreeable to others. They are image conscious and somewhat superficial. Average Threes may brag and exaggerate their accomplishments to solicit attention. Their embellished stories about themselves begin to stretch the truth. Deceit is sometimes necessary to obtain the attention they want. Despite the cool and smooth presentation, others begin to perceive a phoniness and may be put off by the self-promotion and the facade. Average Threes truly believe feel they are superior and that others are merely jealous. However, they cannot risk alienating the people from whom they demand attention.
If average Threes don't get the amount of attention they crave, they begin to promote themselves even more. As if demanding "Look at me!" they inflate their talents and accomplishments. Their grandiose notions become narcissistic and they have a hard time talking about anything other than themselves. They become arrogant and feel a superior contempt for others.
Unhealthy Levels
Level 7: Exploitative Opportunist
Level 8: Malicious Deceiver
Level 9: Vindictive Psychopath
Unhealthy Threes will do whatever it takes to win. They can be deceptive and exploit others, stepping on others to stay on top and often destroying those who stand in the way.
What leads Threes down the wrong path is their belief that their value as people comes from their accomplishments and success. This dependence drives them to achieve at the cost of authenticity and honesty
Healthy Levels
Level 1: Authentic Person
Level 2: Self-Assured Person
Become attached to values of self-development, attractiveness, and desirability
Level 3: Outstanding Paragon
Feel good about themselves when they have accomplished something worthwhile
Healthy Threes let go of the value they have forced upon themselves. Threes are ambitions to improve themselves, but do so without competition. They are highly effective and capable at most things they do. Others naturally admire Threes for their genuinely amazing accomplishments, and others seek ways to perform as well as Threes.
Healthy Threes are confident in themselves. They are outstanding exemplars in their communities. Threes believe that they can still achieve despite the occasional failure. They have a self-assured attitude that is charming and poised.
At their best, Threes let go of the belief that their value is
dependent
on the positive attention of others. Very healthy Threes adopt a modest
and
charitable attitude. They believe that everything has inherent value,
including
themselves. Everything is worthy of our attention and esteem. Very
healthy
Threes realize that they have value and authenticity through their very
existence.
Similarities to other Types
Common Traits with other Types
Threes seek Attention (like Twos and
Fours)
Threes handle problems with a Competency
approach (like Ones and Fives)
Threes are Assertive in going after
what they want (like Sevens and Eights)
Threes are Attached to the
expectations of others (like Sixes and Nines)
Conflict Scenarios
Competency vs. Competency
Threes in conflict with Ones, Threes, Fives
Competency vs. Reactive Threes
in conflict with Fours, Sixes, Eights
Competency vs. Positive Outlook
Threes in conflict with Twos, Sevens, Nines
Multimedia
Watch
a Three talk about his type
Dr.
David Daniels describes Threes
Don
Riso on Threes
Theme Songs
These "Theme Songs" express some of the most important issues of Type Threes.
-
success
-
being the best
-
finding the hero within
I find the Olympic theme music
uplifting and motivating.
1984 Olympic Theme
2002 Olympic Theme
Simply the Best
by Tina Turner
Lyrics
I call you when I need you, my heart's on fire
You come to me, come to me wild and wild
When you come to me
Give me everything I need
Give me a lifetime of promises and a world of dreams
Speak a language of love like you know what it means
And it can't be wrong
Take my heart and make it strong baby
You're simply the best, better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met
I'm stuck on your heart, and hang on every word you say
Tear us apart, baby I would rather be dead
In your heart I see the star of every night and every day
In your eyes I get lost, I get washed away
Just as long as I'm here in your arms
I could be in no better place
You're simply the best, better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met
I'm stuck on your heart, and hang on every word you say
Tear us apart, baby I would rather be dead
Each time you leave me I start losing control
You're walking away with my heart and my soul
I can feel you even when I'm alone
Oh baby, don't let go
Hero
Lyrics
There's a hero If you look
inside your heart
You don't have to be
afraid of what you are There's an answer If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know Will melt away
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you
cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel
like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see
the truth
That a hero lies in you
It's a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a
hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you
cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel
like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see
the truth
That a hero lies in you
Lord knows dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone
Tear them
away
Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In time you'll find the way
And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you
cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel
like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see
the truth
That a hero lies in you