Personality Type Four

Fours like to see themselves as intuitive and sensitive people. They want to discover their true identity and want others to validate that they are unique and special people. In order to get that validation, Fours withdraw and play hard to get and hope that others will be drawn in by their mysterious and different nature. Fours greatly appreciate the efforts of others to get close to them. Fours sometimes emphasize their suffering to engender sympathy (and hence, attention) from others.

Fours want to understand themselves. They feel that something is missing in themselves - others seem to have a strong sense of who they are - but Fours feel that they haven't found their sense of self yet. They know what they are not, but they don't know what they are. Fours seek a rescuer - someone who sees and appreciates the special qualities that the Four sees in herself.

Fours often express themselves indirectly through creative means. For example, they may have an artistic talent (e.g., painting, singing, playing an instrument), or they may simply decorate their home in a unique style. In any case, Fours become very attached to their expressions and feel affirmed when others appreciate their creativity.

Fours use their imagination and emotions to find their identities. They are very emotionally sensitive and have a deep need to connect emotionally to people and things. Fours relate to things at a mostly emotional level: an emotional bond helps make things feel real. Fours use their imaginations to heighten and prolong their emotional states. They tend to daydream and fantasize about their lives. Fours run into trouble when they base their identity on their emotions.

Average Fours see themselves as unique and special people. They know that they are unlike others, who they see as superficial and "normal." Average Fours spend a great deal of their time fantasizing. Fours connect very strongly to the feelings that arise in their daydreams. They enjoy creating an environment that is unique to them. This niche is a sanctuary that generates and maintains deep personal feelings in which they soak for long periods. They often listen to certain types of music because they help put them in a certain mood. Unfortunately, average Fours often spend too much time daydreaming. Fours believe that the answer to their search for self and meaning will be found in their deep and passionate feelings.

Average Fours base their identity on being different from others. They tend to reject qualities they have in common with other ("normal") people in favour of maintaining their uniqueness. There is a longing quality to Fours. They are seeking someone who can see them as they really are (this theme is present in many of their fantasies). Unfortunately, others don't live up to these idealized expectations. Fours are keenly aware of what is missing in their relationships and partners. Fours often long for a partner when they are separated and push them away when the partner is near.

Average Fours are very sensitive, and interpret much of the interactions emotionally. They take others' comments personally and can be hypersensitive to criticism. They can be very moody and self-conscious, leading them to withdraw from others. After all, the fantasy world is much more pleasant. They become very introverted and stay withdrawn to protect their fragile self-image.

Average Fours feel they don't fit in and simultaneously feel proud of their uniqueness and ashamed by it. Fours tend to see others as superficial and ignorant, people who don't care about the importance of having depth of character. Fours wonder why others can be so happy in a superficial world, while Fours feel like a victim of it.

Average Fours believe that they have suffered a great deal. They want others to witness their suffering.(and hopefully, someone will save them from it). Fours feel that Life has dealt them a bad hand and that Life owes them one. They begin to feel exempt from living like others.

They become disdainful and decadent and retreat even further into their fantasy world. Their escalating withdrawal makes them increasingly unproductive. They want to feel important, but find that their thoughts and moods are dark and sad, leading to feelings of depression. Their self-pity and envy fuels their depression and self-indulgence.

Fours become unhealthy when they continue to isolate themselves. Their envy of others and what they see as their "wasted" life fuels their anger. They feel that they are hopeless and become prone to extreme depression.

What leads Fours down the wrong path when they base their identity on their feelings (especially the dark, negative ones). Their constantly changing feelings means that their identity changes, too.

Healthy Fours let go of their forced identity. Average Fours base their identity on how different they are from others. Healthy Fours realize they have more in common with others than difference. They are very personal and emotionally open to others. They are "true to themselves" and reveal that truth to others. They are still creative and enjoy sharing it with others. Healthy Fours are very sensitive and gentle with themselves and with others. They are very self-aware and open.

At their best, Fours let go of the false belief that they are inherently more flawed that others. They realize that they have a unique identity simply by living. They are profoundly creative, relating to personal and universal truths.

Every personality type is "powered" by a different motivation. When "worn lightly," this motivation guides our behaviour through general tendencies and attachments. As this motivation becomes stronger, it becomes increasingly important to see ourselves in a certain way and to ensure that others see us that way, too. To accomplish this goal, we emphasize certain behaviours (and disown others) by playing a role. Sometimes we need to manipulate others or even undermine them to force them to see us as we want to be seen. Unfortunately, the more attached we become to our self-image, the less we see ourselves as we really are.

Fours seek attention (like Twos and Threes) Read More		Fours are comfortable withdrawing away from the world (like Fives and Nines) Read More
Fours handle problems with a reactive approach (like Sixes and Eights) Read More		Fours are frustrated by reality not living up to their ideals (like Ones and Sevens) Read More